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16  Forum / General Discussions / Re: Anthrax / Testament / Death Angel Tour.....Bring on the Oldschool ! on: September 21, 2011, 10:33:08 pm
I thought you worked at McDonalds?
I work at a haunted house (www.thrillvania.com).  Kissfan77, you've probably heard the ads for it on 97.1

i've always wanted to work at a haunted attraction....scaring the living crap outta people is fun  Cheesy
17  Forum / General Discussions / Re: we should break into middle finger's house on: September 21, 2011, 09:51:23 pm
i have a recipe for sweet and sour rabbit that is really good....and like Alpine said...very healthy/ low fat/ low calories
18  Forum / General Discussions / Re: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap on: September 21, 2011, 09:49:25 pm
" oh well ,I'm goin to hell anyway.....might as well be first class"
19  Forum / General Discussions / Re: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap on: September 21, 2011, 09:38:10 pm
"where the hell did i get this tat of 666 on the back of my arm?"
" and what's that smell?"...." smells like balls and brimstone in this place,"
"and is it just me or are there short and curlies on that rugby ball laying on the floor over there?"
" i really need to stop hanging out in this place"
20  Forum / General Discussions / Re: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap on: September 21, 2011, 06:48:47 pm
(da_wizard wakes up from his drug and booze induced coma....looks around the bar room....everything seem to be in place....it actually looks like someone has straighten up the place.....stools are all in a row....the broken glass , condoms , and shreds of popcorn and peanuts are nowhere to be seen....the coolers are shiny and freshly stocked with beer, the stains on the pool table have somehow disappeared , all the tvs are working.....everything seems to be in working order and perfect....da_wiz is just awstruck)
"wtf happened in here....this is freakin spooky"
(just then a smokin hot brunette wearing a leather mini and fishnets walks up to da_wiz and asks him if he wants to dance.....she pulls him from his stool and starts to grind her body against his....the music is pounding and the girl is joined by two of her friends....a tall blonde in spandex so tight you can read her lips (if ya know what mean) and a firery redhead with legs as far as the eyes can see....they all start gyrating on da_wiz....rubbing him up and down.....they begin disrobe....articles of clothing start to hit the floor....the music gets louder.....and then........
.."what the HELL!"

(da_wiz is awaken by the snap of a dirty bar rag to the back of the head.....Gnomez yells at him as he dances around like a freakin naked fairy)
" Hey Wizzy wake the hell up ya ...you're droolin on the bar"
(da_wiz looks up from the puddle....nothing has changed.....the tap is as nasty as ever...naked trolls and clones running amuck....Gnomez is making a picture of TQ out of stale pretzels , bottle caps and cheese curds....Middle Finger is cleaning his revolver in the shadows, a weird glimmer in his eye....Tiger is doing taxidermy on some fricken piece of roadkill ...looks like an armadillo with a Budweiser bottle in his paws. Alpine is kicking some assclown in the nuts....who knows what he said to her....whatever it was , he deserves what he is getting.......everything is it's normal crazy fucked up self.....as it should be)

"man...i really need to stop drinking,"
21  Forum / General Discussions / Re: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap on: September 21, 2011, 12:02:05 am
(da_wiz runs back inside the tavern door)
"i think we might have awaken some long forgotten entities Alpine"
" there are some wicked looking winged creatures outside flying all around the Tap"
" the drone of the music seems to be not only be coming from the jukebox but it's coming up from the ground, it sounds like millions of voices are crying out with excitement...the demons are celebrating ,"
( da_wizard takes out his stash loads up his pipe and sparks it up....taking in a long toke)
" it's gonna be a wild ride....i might as well enjoy it to the hilt"
" what happened? ...what was i talking about again and who is that dark shadow in the corner smiling at me?" 
22  Forum / General Discussions / Re: we should break into middle finger's house on: September 20, 2011, 11:30:34 pm
we usually only have rabbit for Easter dinner around our house
23  Forum / General Discussions / Re: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap on: September 20, 2011, 11:22:48 pm
(da-wiz pulls out his spirit board from under the pinball machine)
" don't ask why i have that stashed there.....long story",
(he places the board on the bar and asks a guestion)
" oh ghosts of the afterworld , ask of thee to let me know if my vision will come true"
(he and Alpine stare intently at the board waiting for a sign or movement)
" oh dark demons of the underworld....will you answer my question?"
( suddenly the jukebox lights up and starts playing "Black Sabbath"...the menacing tritone reverberates through the Tap)
" Well.....there is your answer Alpine....now it's time for me to leave"
(da_wiz bolts for the door as an unusual mist floats along the floor of the bar...and weird growls come from the cellar)
24  Forum / General Discussions / Re: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap on: September 20, 2011, 10:48:12 pm
( da_wiz takes down the "FOR SALE" sign out front of the Tap)
don't sell this place just yet....I had a vision last night....I think that old man Ozzy just might have one more Fest in him  and he will be bringing along a few old mates with him....I really think we will see Sabbath next summer headlining one last Ozzfest.....Tony , Geezer , and Bill will once again join the madman for one last go around.....it will the must see concert event of the summer of 2012 including some huge supporting talent.....but I will also predict that it will mark the retirement for the Ozzman.....he will have come full circle.....finishing his career with an awesome final release with his old band mates and finally settling down ....even the wicked must rest.....here's to Ozzy....his career may come to an end one day, but his music will live on forever...CHEERS
( da_wiz sits down at his favorite bar stool ..sips his beer ...and wonders if his dream was a glimpse into reality or he just smoked some really good shit last night)
25  Forum / Versus / Re: tits or ass on: September 02, 2011, 11:12:01 pm
i still say ASS
26  Forum / General Discussions / Re: Proof that the apockalypse is coming on: September 02, 2011, 11:00:58 pm
just wait till your pubes start showin your age... Grin
27  Forum / General Discussions / Re: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap on: September 02, 2011, 07:25:39 pm
took a ride last weekend up to the cottage (Northern Wisconsin)...and noticed that some of the leaves were starting to change colors....I'm glad Fall is right around the corner.
28  Forum / General Discussions / Re: What are you listening to now?! on: September 02, 2011, 07:22:38 pm
More Human Than Human - White Zombie
29  Forum / Fun & Games / Re: Word Associaition Thread on: September 02, 2011, 07:11:19 pm
30  Forum / Fun & Games / Re: Say something random on: September 02, 2011, 06:34:17 pm

 If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make you my bitch!
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