If at first you don't succeed...... your obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris saw"The Ring " video, then watched it again the week later
There once was a street named after Chuck Norris but they renamed it. No one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Graboids from "Tremors" were not chasing people. They were running. From Chuck Norris
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris was born in 1940. Five years later Hitler committed suicide. This was not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
the dinosaurs made Chuck Norris mad...once
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He goes outside and dares the grass to grow.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris has a Myspace account... on Facebook.
Chuck Norris doesn't jump he stares at gravity and it changes direction.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars before, that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris was once struck by lightning...Thats why lightning never strikes the same place twice...because Chuck Norris is looking for it...
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris can choke you to life
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
If Chuck Norris had performed in 300, the film would be called 1.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once challenged his own reflection to a staring contest. He won after 5 days.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
In space no-one can hear you scream except, Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris once made a snowman...out of rain.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
LOL
