down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap

[AlpineValleyGirl]

{raises shot glass to da wiz, looks for gnomez and sees his backside disappear out the front door}

[da_wizard]

[ da_wizard gets up off of his barstool to go take a piss and nearly falls to the ground....realizing just how drunk he is]

don't ya just hate when that happens......damn....hope nobody saw that

[AlpineValleyGirl]

saw what?

 

[da_wizard]

exactly

[Tiger479]

* calls da wiz over to tell him his fly is down*

[da_wizard]

DAMN.....

[da_wizard]

[ da_wizard zips up his fly and stumbles out the door and heads home......then he realizes that it's actually 7 pm instead of 7 am.....turns around and heads back in the Tap ...sits down on his stool and orders a ice cold mug of Miller Lite....ahhhh......"hey Barkeep....I'd like to order a  bacon cheeseburger and a basket of beer battered onion rings," ]

[AlpineValleyGirl]

buys AlpineValleyGirl a long neck Old Style and place quarter for next game

don't BUMP the machine, its got a tricky tilt
{pours old style into her pint glass, downs it}

whoa, I ain't feelin too well . . what was in that beer? or is it just because it was old style? {burp}

[Tiger479]

How the hell do you turn up this old school juke box?  We need to get one of those fancy new digital ones 

[da_wizard]

yeah a new juke box would be nice.....but ya know someone would break it within a week
[ da_wizard gives the old piece of shit  juke a swift kick and as if like magic , the damn thing starts cranking out "Perry Mason" at an eardrum shattering level......" ya just have to know how to baby these things Tiger"....then he sips his beer and watches a little Lingerie Football playing on the big screen]

[AlpineValleyGirl]

{ juke box wakes her up - clobbers her head on the underside of a table }

[da_wizard]

[ da_wizard wakes up from a three day drunk.....looks around the bar and notices that it looks like nobody has been here for days ...."Huh , at least I didn't miss anything,"]

[da_wizard]

[ da_wizard glances to the back of the bar , and sitting in the darkest corner is Steve playing Russian Roulette with himself and mumbling incoherently ...." fuck mmmgghh...anal beads..mmmccchhff...noose..vvhfrjejmmm...shower curtain..mmmcgghff.....chloroform...mmassddmmmgh..,"  da_wizard thinks to himself ..." hmmm... shopping list," ]

[kissfan77]

buys AlpineValleyGirl a long neck Old Style and place quarter for next game

don't BUMP the machine, its got a tricky tilt
{pours old style into her pint glass, downs it}

whoa, I ain't feelin too well . . what was in that beer? or is it just because it was old style? {burp}

it was that or HAMMS not much left

[AlpineValleyGirl]

{busts out singing}

From the land of sky-blue waters! (waters)
from the land of pines, lofty balsams
comes the beer, refreshing
Hamms the beer, refreshing,
Haaamms!

{grabs one of the last cans, shakes it, opens it
and sprays it all over the place}