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Author Topic: down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap  (Read 61896 times)
AlpineValleyGirl
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« Reply #30 on: October 06, 2010, 10:21:42 pm »

{raises shot glass to da wiz, looks for gnomez and sees his backside disappear out the front door}
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da_wizard
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« Reply #31 on: October 06, 2010, 10:27:33 pm »

[ da_wizard gets up off of his barstool to go take a piss and nearly falls to the ground....realizing just how drunk he is]

don't ya just hate when that happens......damn....hope nobody saw that Roll Eyes
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AlpineValleyGirl
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« Reply #32 on: October 06, 2010, 10:30:01 pm »

saw what?

 Cheesy
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da_wizard
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« Reply #33 on: October 06, 2010, 10:36:59 pm »

exactly Grin
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Tiger479
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« Reply #34 on: October 07, 2010, 06:18:38 pm »

* calls da wiz over to tell him his fly is down*
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da_wizard
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« Reply #35 on: October 07, 2010, 06:50:23 pm »

DAMN.....
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da_wizard
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« Reply #36 on: October 07, 2010, 07:16:37 pm »

[ da_wizard zips up his fly and stumbles out the door and heads home......then he realizes that it's actually 7 pm instead of 7 am.....turns around and heads back in the Tap ...sits down on his stool and orders a ice cold mug of Miller Lite....ahhhh......"hey Barkeep....I'd like to order a  bacon cheeseburger and a basket of beer battered onion rings," ]
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AlpineValleyGirl
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« Reply #37 on: October 07, 2010, 08:27:50 pm »

buys AlpineValleyGirl a long neck Old Style and place quarter for next game Cool
don't BUMP the machine, its got a tricky tilt
{pours old style into her pint glass, downs it}
whoa, I ain't feelin too well . . what was in that beer? or is it just because it was old style? {burp}
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Tiger479
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« Reply #38 on: October 07, 2010, 09:08:17 pm »

How the hell do you turn up this old school juke box?  Angry We need to get one of those fancy new digital ones  Cool
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da_wizard
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« Reply #39 on: October 07, 2010, 09:34:20 pm »

yeah a new juke box would be nice.....but ya know someone would break it within a week
[ da_wizard gives the old piece of shit  juke a swift kick and as if like magic , the damn thing starts cranking out "Perry Mason" at an eardrum shattering level......" ya just have to know how to baby these things Tiger"....then he sips his beer and watches a little Lingerie Football playing on the big screen]
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alcohol is not a toy.......it's a tool....to be used by responsible drunks
AlpineValleyGirl
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« Reply #40 on: October 08, 2010, 10:34:10 pm »

{ juke box wakes her up - clobbers her head on the underside of a table }
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da_wizard
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« Reply #41 on: October 11, 2010, 11:09:21 pm »

[ da_wizard wakes up from a three day drunk.....looks around the bar and notices that it looks like nobody has been here for days ...."Huh , at least I didn't miss anything,"]
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alcohol is not a toy.......it's a tool....to be used by responsible drunks
da_wizard
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« Reply #42 on: October 12, 2010, 09:44:27 am »

[ da_wizard glances to the back of the bar , and sitting in the darkest corner is Steve playing Russian Roulette with himself and mumbling incoherently ...." fuck mmmgghh...anal beads..mmmccchhff...noose..vvhfrjejmmm...shower curtain..mmmcgghff.....chloroform...mmassddmmmgh..,"  da_wizard thinks to himself ..." hmmm... shopping list," ]
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kissfan77
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« Reply #43 on: October 12, 2010, 11:18:43 am »

buys AlpineValleyGirl a long neck Old Style and place quarter for next game Cool
don't BUMP the machine, its got a tricky tilt
{pours old style into her pint glass, downs it}
whoa, I ain't feelin too well . . what was in that beer? or is it just because it was old style? {burp}
it was that or HAMMS not much left
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AlpineValleyGirl
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« Reply #44 on: October 12, 2010, 07:22:54 pm »

{busts out singing}

From the land of sky-blue waters! (waters)
from the land of pines, lofty balsams
comes the beer, refreshing
Hamms the beer, refreshing,
Haaamms!

{grabs one of the last cans, shakes it, opens it
and sprays it all over the place}
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Helping My Boss Find His Own Ass with Both Hands since 1986!
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