down at the Ozzfest Corner Tap

[da_wizard]

Ya gotta love those old Hamms beer signs with the waterfall that looks like its actually moving...nice
for years thats all we drank up at the deer camp ....it's not bad as long as its ice fucking cold and you are thirsty

[da_wizard]

"CHEERS FOF.....heres to a great week and even better weekend"
[ da_wizard grabs a handful of pretzels out of a bowl on the bar and shoves them in his maw]
" hey....are pretzels supposed to be chewy? "

[FIRSTOZZYFAN]

"CHEERS FOF.....heres to a great week and even better weekend"
[ da_wizard grabs a handful of pretzels out of a bowl on the bar and shoves them in his maw]
" hey....are pretzels supposed to be chewy? "

Yes....Yes they are. You didnt just see that dude they arrested who was peeing in cups and leaving it up on the bar in here did you?
(fact:...they just caught some nut doing that this week at the house of blues in cali)

[da_wizard]

[ da_wizard notices Franky heading into the guys john.....]
"hey Franky.....is that you cutting all those goddamn glory holes in the fucking stalls.....they look like swiss cheese ,"

[AlpineValleyGirl]

(shots ring out from that dimly lit corner and hit the jukebox...Sabbath starts playing...for free all night)


looks like steve finally won his game of russian roulette
or did he lose?  I can never figure out how to score that game
or bowling scores

hey FOF!  why the hell are you drinkin that canadian beer, eh?

[da_wizard]

[da_wizard  runs into the pisser and proceeds to lose his lunch....then he strolls back to the bar and orders a double shot of 151 to cleanse his palate]
"that shit will kill anything that I may have ingested,"
[ da_ wizard contemplates trying the popcorn and decides that it looks a little to "buttery" for his liking .]

[AlpineValleyGirl]

it doesn't smell like butter
{tries to feed it to the dog}
[dog sniffs it, walks away, lies back down]

[da_wizard]

[da_wizard decides that he should really wash his hands good when he gets home]
" this place makes that flashy gay club down the street ....what's it called??....Gayhem Palace....look reputable ,"
[da_wizard thinks about what he just said and starts to laugh]
" I'd take questionable snacks on the bar over that shithole anyday,"
[da_wizard decides to go check and see if Steve is still breathing......figures.....Steve is so stoned he missed,"
" hey Steve.....get your hands off your dink and stand up before someone pees.....," .[too late Alpine's dog has done it's business on Steve's head and for some God forsaken reason Steve in smiling in his drug induced coma.]
" your a sick one Steve...a sick one,"

[AlpineValleyGirl]

MY dog?  I thought it was your dog

[Gnomez]

Burp

[AlpineValleyGirl]

I think gnomez has been drinking the sheep dip again

[da_wizard]

" who's freaking dog is this ?,"
[ oh wait a minute......da_wizard has just figured out that it's not a dog at all......it's Steve's date]
" my bad,"

[ da_wizard slowly walks down to the other end of the bar and buys Gnomez a cheap American Beer]

[Gnomez]

Cheers Wiz

Gulp gulp gulp
Fart

Ewww.... cop a wiff of that bastard

[AlpineValleyGirl]

steve's "dog" follows da wiz, screaming in a thick asian accent,
"who pay me now?  he sleep!  for showa I chaage moar!  his howah is up!  hey yu! you pay me now?"

[da_wizard]

" holy christ Gnomez.....I think that banana on your sammie you had for tea today was Way too ripe.....someone open a window,"
[da_wizard points Steve's err..."date " to Gnomez's end of the bar and slowly disappears out the back door to get some fresh air in the alley.]